When an ordinary person gets trapped in an elevator, he/she presses the red button if there’s one, or calls someone he/she knows to arrange for rescue. Then he/she waits patiently, perhaps with a hint of anxiety, until the rescue team arrives and gets him/her out. Now how might our celebrities respond if they happen to get trapped in an elevator?
When Shivraj Singh Chouhan gets trapped an elevator:
A mild wave of anxiety sweeps through Madhya Pradesh and Twitter, even as Shivraj Singh Chouhan patiently waits in the elevator. A few minutes later, the rescue team arrives on the spot, gets the door open and rescues Shivraj.
“Are you ok, sir?” one of them asks, as the CM steps out.
In response, Shivraj grins, takes his smartphone out and tweets, “I congratulate the rescue team who saved me from the stuck elevator. Deeply thankful and indebted to them!”
When Azam Khan gets trapped in an elevator:
After trying in vain to get the elevator moving, Azam Khan calls up his secretary and says, “I’m stuck in an elevator. This is happening to me because I’m a Muslim!”
“Don’t worry, sir, I’ll call the UP state police to rescue you ASAP,” the secretary assures Azam.
“Abey idiot!” Azam yells. “Leave the UP police alone. They are only to guard my buffaloes. Send some electricians.”
A couple of hours later, the elevator doors are wedged open, and Azam walks out. Immediately, he signals his men to seal the elevator.
“This elevator trapped a Muslim for 2 hours. It is now the property of the Waqf board,” Azam declares.
When Rahul Gandhi gets trapped in an elevator:
Rahul Gandhi enters the elevator at the ground floor and looks at the list of numbers and the letters ‘G’ and ‘B’ with a perplexed expression.
After a few moments, he calls up Sonia Gandhi and asks her, “Mumma, what’s the elevator password?”
“What password?” Sonia asks, confused.
“I dunno. There are some buttons here. What should I type?”
Sonia immediately alerts Ahmed about Rahul’s situation. Ahmed takes out his cellphone and makes a couple of urgent phone calls.
“What did you do?” asks Sonia.
“Called up NDTV and The Hindu. Within 2 minutes, they will flash a headline about you being unhappy about Rahul baba’s situation,” Ahmed explains. “Khurshid will also add that there were tears in your eyes.”
Sonia slaps her forehead and glares at the grinning Ahmed. Then taking matters into her own hands, she calls up some Congress leaders and asks them to rush to the scene.
By the time Sanjay Jha, Randeep Surjewala, Shashi Tharoor and Rita Bahuguna Joshi rush to the scene, OB vans are already there. Rahul baba has been banging on the door for over an hour now.
Hundreds of Congress supporters gather with butterscotch cake and posters of Rahul Gandhi, all set to feed the posters the moment Rahul is rescued.
While Jha, Surjewala and Bahuguna wonder what to do, Tharoor suddenly realizes what might have happened. He flicks his hair, swaggers towards the elevator panel, and presses the button. The door opens, and Rahul baba rushes out to hug him.
Soon, the media begins to question whether Rahul was stuck at all in the first place, and whether Rahul knew how to operate an elevator. That’s when the spokespersons swing into action.
“Rahul baba cannot be blamed for this. We take collective responsibility for the fact that he was stuck in the elevator,” Surjewala says.
“Getting stuck in an elevator is a lot less dangerous than the ghastly riots of 2002, which Mr.Modi presided over,” fires Sanjay Jha.
“Surely, the elevator’s design must have been confusing or the opposition has deliberately messed up the interiors. How can Rahul baba be at fault for this?” screams Rita Bahuguna Joshi.
When Arvind Kejriwal gets trapped in an elevator:
The moment he realizes that the elevator is stuck, Arvind Kejriwal is convinced that it is the handiwork of BJP-Ambani-Adani goons. Within minutes, Twitter is abuzz with trends like #IstuckWithArvind, #BJPdirtytricks and #Emergency2014. AAP supporters get into the act with some witty tweets:
“So, LITERALLY, the BJP doesn’t want to see the elevation of Arvind, babye! ;)” tweets self-proclaimed AAPTard, Abhinandan Sekhri.
Not to take things lying down, the right-wing TIMES NOW hits back with the hashtag #AAPElevatorDrama.
Arvind takes to Twitter to express his angst. “I am fine..thank u all..v know who is behind this..it’s anyone’s guess..such things won’t stop me..I’m ready to even give my life!” he tweets, and then goes on to RT hundreds of tweets in support of him.
“Attack on Arvind elevater is an attack on democrazy by facists !!! Will the Modi answer !!!” tweets AAP’s Ashutosh.
Several journalists too, condemn the incident. “Shame on right wing goons! A new low in politics!” tweets Rana Ayyub.
“Seriously, is this what the BJP can come with up, in response to AAPs undeniable popularity? Shame! Disgusting!” tweets Nikhil Wagle.
“Sorry to hear about Kejriwal’s elevator ordeal. Time Modi shows grace, puts politics aside and rescues him,” tweets Rajdeep Sardesai, and follows it up with this tweet: “Why did Arvind get stuck in an elevator? Read my book!”
Meanwhile, AAP supporters gather outside the elevator in large numbers and begin to protest with banners. Some climb into the elevator shaft, on top of the elevator, in their bid to show solidarity with Arvind by getting stuck alongside him. Some others peacefully fling stones at the police force, and the policemen respond with water-cannons, tear gas shells and lathi charge. Section 144 is soon imposed in and around the building.
Soon enough, the rescue team arrives. A defiant Arvind, however, declares that he will not be rescued and will continue sitting in the elevator in protest against the BJPs activities. Thus begins another dharna, an elevator dharna, the first of its kind.
Refusing to take any food, Arvind spends the night in the elevator, with as many of his supporters as could fit in within the 8×6 space. AAP supporters on social media get all the more hyperactive. “One man is putting his life at risk, in a small elevator, not even eating food, for the sake of the nation & all people can do is mock him. Sigh!” says a tweet and posts a pic of an unshaven Arvind staring emptily into space, with the expression of a man who has been persecuted all his life.
Right-wingers hit back with pics of senior citizens being forced to take the stairs, because the elevator couldn’t be repaired.
The next day, the rescue team decides that enough is enough, and forcibly carries Kejriwal out of the elevator and drops him outside the building. Kejriwal stands there expectantly, scanning the faces in the crowd, when a gentleman comes forward, sprays ink on his face and lands a resounding slap on his cheek.
Kejriwal heads straight to Rajghat, sits down and utters a “prayer” for peace.
