Leading experimental physicists from Princeton’s Institute for Advanced Study have scientifically validated what laymen, political pundits, psephologists and Congress leaders have widely suspected: the BJP possesses the largest quantum of entropy – an indicator of disorder and chaos in thermodynamics – for an organization of its scale. Using sophisticated instruments under carefully calibrated laboratory conditions conforming to exacting scientific standards of precision and accuracy, the team led by Dr. Peter Winestein, one of the world’s leading authorities of entropy measurement, estimated that BJP’s entropy spiked to an unprecedented 4.2042* 10^19 Joules/Kelvin minutes after BJP was soundly routed in the Karnataka Assembly polls.
“The previous spike was 3.2342*10^19 Joules/Kelvin when Varun Gandhi praised party President Rajnath Singh and hinted that he would also make for a good PM candidate. With clamour for declaring Modi as the PM growing, there was an overall downward trend but given the BJP’s inherent tendency to self-implode, there are spikes which elevate the chaos to higher and higher levels. This, as any student of thermodynamics will tell you, results in very little useful work being done,” noted Dr. Winstein.
The team said that the BJP provided the perfect laboratory setting to measure entropy and empirically test new theories. “The Sangh Parivaar is a thermodynamics physicist’s delight, man,” raved Vaidhyanathan Ramanujam, world-renown mathematician and statistician from IIT Madras who was part of the team. “We’ve been observing the BJP for a while now and the chaos has just been increasing, be it Modi vs Advani or Modi vs Gadkari or Rajnath vs Advani or Jaitley vs Gadkari, Yashwant Sinha vs Gadkari, Yashwant Sinha vs Modi and so on. There was a massive surge last year when the Chief Ministers of Karnataka changed as often as the weather. Also, the friction between Mahesh Jethmalani and Gadkari took it to a whole new level. The disorder scaled unbelievable extents, making measurement and effective quantization a superhuman and extraordinarily difficult task, but still we toiled hard and with seemingly never-ending calculations and derivations, we somehow managed to quantify it. But things reached a new peak yesterday or what we call in Hindi as hungama.”
“Well, the only thing left for the BJP members, after literally having completely fought with each other, is to fight their own selves. So don’t be surprised if you soon see Narendra Modi lashing out at himself. That’ll make the disorder measure unbeatable by any human force in the universe, unless aliens from a parallel universe come into the picture,” added leading Russian physicist, Barkov Schrodzhegger.
While most parties have welcomed the findings, SP chief, Mulayam Singh Yadav, renowned for his U-turns, has challenged the team to measure the entropy of his decision making process.